So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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