All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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