was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
