I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
