Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
