Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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