I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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