So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
