i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
