it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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