Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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