i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
