So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
