I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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