Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
