you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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