But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
