peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
