there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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