Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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