Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize