Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
