with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
