just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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