Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
