conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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