he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
