I smell stomach acid.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
