I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
