It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
so much tequila, so little girl.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
