Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
