we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
