dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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