It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
