i barfeds in our rink
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
