i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
