I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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