umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
