It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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