you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
