You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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