Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
is this the sara with the beer cane?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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