maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
