i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
