hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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