Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
