lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
