i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
