So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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