Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
