i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
3pm strippers are depressing
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
