R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
