these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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