He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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